Colorism=Good Hair/Bad Hair

Let me start by saying this post is going to be controversal, its going to offend some people and hurt others feelings but that is not my intent. I am here to write about issues within the black hair community that many do not want to talk about. I am not here to be mean or rude I just tell the truth. Hopefully we can all learn from this and from each other.

Here are some of the things I have heard that inspired me to write this post
"Some people have hair that is just too nappy to go natural"
" oh her hair must be more nappy since she is dark skin"
" I could not marry a man with nappy hair because I have good hair and don't wanna do that to my children"

Shockingly all these things were said by black people. Most were said by women especially women with natural hair.


I know if you are reading this blog you are probably as shocked as I am but its true. What I am saying to you is not made up, exaggerated or false. Now let me start by saying I am not a natural nazi. I do not think that everyone who perms their hair hates themselves or is trying to be less black. I do not think women should applaud me for wearing my hair natural or say things like "I'm proud of you", or "I couldn't do it". These things actually make me uncomfortable. I do not think I should be applauded or held on a pedestal for wearing my hair the way God made it, thats like applauding me for not wearing a mask in public because my face does not meet societies standard of beauty. In retrospect it is an insult. I try my best not to make generalizations regarding others especially when I do not really know them or their views on a topic. But part of me can't help but look at the comments above and think of them as slightly racist. They are definitely an indication of the stigmas some black people hold onto regarding natural hair texture and skin color. Why is it that ones hair even has the capacity to be "too nappy to go natural"? We are born with natural hair so in the physical world that makes no sense. How can something you are born with be too anything to be accepted, embraced or even worn out the house. Thats like saying "your eyes are too brown", so you must wear colored contacts to hide or disguise them. Or like saying "your skin is too dark", so  you must avoid the sun and attempt to bleach your skin in order to be the right/acceptable/desirable color. Your hair is "too nappy" , so you must perm it so its pretty. Its so sad some think like this.

"oh her hair must be nappy because she is dark skin", is no different from the above comments and its no more correct.  First of all there is no gene for race. There are genes for characteristics ( ie. eye color, skin color, hair texture, facial features), but there is no actual gene that says black or white or that blond straight hair must equal someone who is of european descent. Because there is no gene for race we cannot assume that one race comes with exclusively one set of physical traits. We cannot assume that dark skin equal nappy hair because it is not true.I had an asian friend who permed her hair in high school so that it would be straight and easier for her to style. I also have a friend who is black and her grandmother had completely straight silky black hair. No my friend is not bi racial. Her parents are from Africa and they each have coily hair. If the one race one trait theory were true then her grandmother could not possible be of african descent but we know that she is.  This comment also bring about another issue. The person who made this comment is one who believes the lighter the better and that good hair is hair that is not nappy or coily but curly, soft. wavy or anything that is close to being straight and long. Because this person has so many issues with skin color they assume that any one with the dreaded dark skin must also have the unmanageable nappy hair and be less attractive as a person. And yes the person who said this was black, brown skin and has coily hair themselves. Unfortunately this shows how hatred of ourselves can project into hatred of others that remind us of ourselves.

The last comment I am going to address is" I could not marry a man with nappy hair because I have good hair and don't wanna do that to my children". What is good hair anyway?Most black people have been taught that good hair is manageable, curly but not tightly, silky, smooth, and that resembles the hair of someone who is multi or bi racial. The people believing or saying these things have been taught that they have pretty hair. They have probably been told not to perm it and that they are lucky and they have been held above those who do not meet the pretty hair standard. And I am not saying that is it wrong to have an opinion, that is not my point at all. I have my own opinion of what I find attractive. For example: I find dark skin men very attractive. I have a preference this is my right. But I do not find light skin men inferior. I would not turn down a date with a man because he is light skin and God forbid we fall in love, get married and have children that may be light skin eww... That is when it goes from preference to expectance, from opinion to hate. And I do believe that good and bad hair exist. My definition of good hair is hair that is healthy, moisturized,clean, strong, and free of breakage. Bad hair is that which is unhealthy, dry, damaged and dirty. My definitions of each have nothing to do with texture. You can have good or bad hair regardless of the pattern or shape your strands make. That should have nothing to do with quality but unfortunately some believe that is does.

I do not expect this post to change anyones mind or opinion. I just want people to be more educated about the things they say and the things they believe. I want people to examine where these thoughts and ideals truly come from. What is the root of them? And remember, it is possible to be racist without calling someone the n word. Just as it is possible to think your are elitist because of hair texture or skin color. Its your thoughts that matter. Choosing not to say anything about a topic does not make your belief less true...

6 month update

So my 6 month naturalversary was technically November 31st but since that date does not exist I celebrated on December 1st.

Here are the comparison pics

Right after the BC

3 months natural

6 months natural

There is my progress. As far as my regimen goes I have been very lax about the vitamins which I will start taking again after the holidays. Also, I have been trying to wash at least once a week but less when in protective styles.  One thing I have noticed after 6 months natural is that less is more. I do not need a complicated regimen in order to retain length, my hair just needs tlc. I also listen to my hair and pay attention to how it responds to certain things. If it feels dry I give it moisture, if it feels weak I give it protein ect. My hair also responds better to the products I make myself than commercial ones. I plan to make products in bulk so that I will not have to make new stuff every month. For the rest of the winter I will be alternating between protective styles and rollersets. 

*Featured Fridays Erica*

Relaxed

1. How long have you been natural?

I have been natural for 2years this month! :) 

2. What made you decide to go natural?

My hair was over-processed, and beginning to break off from all the chemicals... So, my stylist suggested that I go natural. I was really skeptical about the transition. I've been getting relaxers and going to the hair salon since age 10, I wasn't sure if I would be able to maintain my own hair.  It was obvious my hair wasn't taking to the chemicals very well, I just never looked at natural as an option. After a few more sessions with my stylist, on I decided to to let the chemicals go!

3. How long did you transition and what was your routine?

Start of Transition

The relaxer grew out of my hair fairly quickly, so the transition did not take long at all. During the transition I mostly kept braids for 2 to 2 1/2 months and went to the salon biweekly in between. That regimen worked great, and by that summer (I went natural the sept. before) I was relaxer free.  

4. How did you BC? Self BC, salon or a friend/family member?

My salon stylist was very supportive. I first thought that you had to chop all your hair off to go natural, and that is not always the case. My stylist just kept my ends trimmed, when I was out of braids, she kept my hair conditioned, and showed me how to take care of it on my own.

5. Do you have any hair goals?

My one hair goal was to become natural, and not go back to those awful relaxers.. and I did it! Now, I want to help and be supportive of anyone thinking of becoming natural, or who is in the process. Many women think relaxer is the key to beautiful hair... and that is far from true.. Look at all of us on this blog...we have beautiful, HEALTHY hair. 

Transitioning

6. Whats your favorite natural hairstyle ad how do you achieve it?

I am still experimenting with different styles. My latest has been the curly look with the Kinky Curly line of products. Only a daily basis, I mostly wear it straight.

7. How did your perception of beauty change once you went natural?

2 Years Natural

I grew up in middle school and high school with the mind set that to have beauty is to have a relaxer.. So definitely my perception has changed. Beauty comes in different types of forms, and I am embracing all them naturally.

Seasonal Transition

As you can see I'm really looking forward to the cold weather :/

Hey ladies. As the weather changes so should your regimen. The days of wash and go hair are less comfortable as the temperature drops. Here are some tips for keeping your tresses predictable even when the weather is not.

 1. Deep Condition more often

If you are a natural diva who only deep conditions your hair once monthly consider doing it weekly. The benefits of deep conditioning can help protect your strands from the harsh winter weather and keep your curls soft and pliable.

2. Utilize hats

As the weather gets colder utilize the cold weather accessories for your hairs benefit. When you're about to throw on that beanie to keep your ears warm, think about the endless possibilities. Baggying may become your new best friend. You can easily baggy then place a hat on top to keep your hair concealed. I have often done this and deep conditioned my hair all day without a soul knowing. This is also a good fix for when you have a bad hair day.  Be cautious when using cotton or wool hats. They can rob your hair of moisture and cause breakage in the long run. To prevent this wear a silk or satin scarf under the hat as if you were going to bed.

3. Sort through your products

Colder weather means heavier products for some. If shea butter was too heavy for you in the summer it may be time to take it out of the product graveyard. Also, watch out for products containing large amounts of glycerin. They may have the opposite effect and actually dry your hair out during the winter.

4. Try protective styling

Cold air can do serious damage to the ends of natural hair. What better time than fall/winter to get creative with some protective styling. if you have been flaunting wash and gos and puffs all summer why not try some fierce updos, cute coils or get creative with bobby pins. Get acquainted with your hair and tuck it away to retain the most length during the cold months.

Whats your best seasonal transition tip?

Featured Friday *Jade*

1. How long have you been natural?

I BCed in January 2010. So 9 months.

2. What made you decide to go natural?

A.      I didn’t enjoy getting relaxers.

B.      I don’t find straight hair attractive.

C.      I didn’t want to be a slave to my hairdresser every couple of weeks for

the rest of eternity.

D.      The chemicals in a relaxer are NASTY and probably carcinogenic.

E.      I wanted to show people that long, straight hair isn’t what made me

beautiful. It’s my eyes, my lips, my nose, my voice, my smile. Hair is

just meant to frame my most beautiful features.

  

3. How long did you transition and what was your routine?
About 9 months. Well I heat damaged some of my new growth. Then I tried a

weave for the first time in my life, but that caused major breakage.

Eventually I grew some cojones and bit the bullet.

4. How did you BC? Self BC, salon or a friend/family member?

I went to my scissor happy stylist at his salon. And he’s clueless about

natural hair. He didn’t detangle properly, used too much heat on my virgin

hair, and he threw some alcohol based gel on my head, thinking he was

doing me a favor by giving me crunchy helmet hair.  But I smiled and

tipped and conditioned and moisturized my hair properly that night.

5. Do you have any hair goals?

Yeah, I want to be able to hide a kitten in my ‘fro. And block people from

seeing the dry-erase board in class.

6. Whats your favorite natural hairstyle and how do you achieve it?

I like making a frohawk out of an old twist out. I just pin up the sides

and walk out the door.

7. How did your perception of beauty change once you went natural?

       It didn’t. I’ve always liked highly textured hair. I was just a sheep and

wanted to fit in when I got a relaxer. But I quickly exhausted the few

manipulations you can do with relaxed hair, and ended up with my hair

hanging limply around my face or thrown into a ponytail. I looked boring.

Now my hair reflects who I am: brave, gravity-defying, confident, sweetly

scented, earthy, creative, flexible, and though people think I’m hard,

I’m just a big softy.

Featured Fridays *Natural Nina*

Life Time Natural

1. Whats your favorite way to style you hair?

Over the 10 years that I have been natural, my hair has seen many styles and colors. My favorite way to style my hair used to be messy updos, when I had locs in my hair. Now that I have done another big chop, I'm anxious to get back to those types of styles when my twa gets a little longer.

2. What are your favorite products?

My favorite products for styling my hair are Knot Today and Kinky Curly Curling Custard from the Kinky Curly line. When I use my Knot Today and KCCC on my twa, I get the best curl definition my hair has ever had. 

3. How do you keep your hair healthy?

Keep my hair healthy by staying away from products that are made from mineral oil, petrollium, and other cheap ingredients that my hair doesn't like. I keep a tight regimen, of weekly deep conditioning treatments, scalp massages 3 times a week with castor or coconut oils,  I sleep in a satin bonnet,  I stay away from all hair weaves, extensions, and braids to prevent traction alopecia, and I drink lots of water.

4. Do you have any hair goals?

My current hair goal is to grow bra strap length healthy hair, and I gave myself a realistic time period of 5 years to reach my goal.

5. Have you ever felt pressured to relax your hair? If so How did you overcome the pressure?

I have been pressured to relax my hair several times over the years, on both a professional and personal level. I overcame the pressure by sticking informing those around me that my natural hair is a natural part of me that will not change. I would be willing to replace the people around me, including my work environment, before I put creamy crack back in my hair. I prefer that people respect my choice, as I respect theirs. It's not my fault if anyone around me is intimidated by my natural stance. My suggestion is to get over it because however I choose to wear my hair, does not make or break anyone else.  We are all naturally beautiful, and I choose to not to hide my beauty with chemicals and fake hair.




Check out Natural Ninas  blog

Featured Fridays *Tara*

1. How long have you been natural?

I have only been natural for two weeks! I’m very “newly natural”. :)

2. What made you decide to go natural?

Many reasons! I’ve had relaxers for most of my life – since third
grade! It’s been so long that I had previously forgotten what my
natural hair texture was, especially since before my relaxers, my hair
was often pressed and curled. I was intensely curious about what my
natural hair would be like, so I decided to find out.

I also looked forward to what I thought was a more low-maintenance way
of keeping my hair. While it’s a new challenge to learn how to style
and care for my natural hair, it’s a huge relief not to run and hide
at the first sign of water!

I’ve also never enjoyed getting relaxers – to me, the process was
downright excruciating, so it was a relief to never have to get them
ever again!

relaxed

3. How long did you transition and what was your routine?

I planned to be a long-term transitioner at first – I was so attached
to my hair that I planned to cut it, inch by inch, until I had grown
my natural hair to approximately the same length. I should have
figured that wouldn’t cut it because I tend to be extremely impulsive.
I ended up transitioning for about six months.

My routine was pretty simple: I moisturized with coconut oil and olive
oil. For two of the months, I had braids. When it came to washing, I
left it to my stylist because I was afraid too much manipulation would
cause breakage at the line of demarcation. About a third of my
transition time was spent wearing braids. I planned to wear braids for
longer, but I got too impatient!

4. How did you BC? Self BC, salon or a friend/family member?

I went to my regular hairstylist. It was amazing watching her cut off
my hair. I thought I would be highly upset, but I was really just
excited! I also thought I would have a rough transition period as I
got used to having short hair for the first time, but I loved it
immediately!

Transitioning

5. Do you have any hair goals?

At this point I don’t have any goals, at least not in terms of growth.
I want to learn how to style and care for my natural hair and I’ll be
happy with whatever happens!

6. What’s your favorite natural hairstyle ad how do you achieve it?

At this point, I’m still mastering the wash-n-go. But honestly, I love
playing with my hair and seeing what it does – every day is a new
learning experience. I couldn’t be more excited!

7. How did your perception of beauty change once you went natural?

I have admired natural hair for a very long time – I just didn’t have
the bravery necessary to cut my own hair. However, I think I have an
even deeper appreciation for natural hair and it makes the glaring
lack of diversity in media representation a whole lot more jarring. I
make sure to compliment the fly naturals I see on the street for some
positive reinforcement. :)

Finally Natural :)

Check out Taras blog at http://xoxotara.wordpress.com

3 month update

So these past 2 months I have accomplished a lot in my natural journey. I have met all my hair goals for the month, found some of my holy grail products and been featured in another natural hair blog.

Updated Regimen
wash 1x/week (kinky curly come clean)
deep condition 1x/week ( homemade deep conditioner or tresseme naturals)
henna 1x/month( celebration henna)
cowash 2x/week(suave professionals or tresseme naturals)
bentonite clay 1x/month
moisturize 1/day ( homemade butter blend or shea moisture style milk)


Now for pics

1 week natural

almost 3 months natural

Thats all for now readers

Sorry I've been missing

I know I have been MIA for the past week and some change but I am back and I have updates:)

  For the past week I have been trying to manipulate my hair less so I have been wearing it in protective styles. I  have also been slacking on my vitamins and seen a decrease in hair growth:( I have not been updating my blog as often because I need inspiration for content. Please do not be afraid to drop me an email  ( xnaturalbeautyx0531@gmail.com) or post a comment saying what you would like to read about. This blog is for me but its also for the readers.  Here are some pictures of me and my hair. Hope you enjoy.

Eating with friends

Chillin in the hot tub

Protective style

Scab hair

Transitioning to natural made me more and more curious about the texture that my hair possessed without the addition of chemicals. After waiting several months to rid myself of the limp permed hair I did not think I would have to wait even longer just to see what my true texture was.

Unfortunately this is the reality for naturals who are plagued with scab hair.

Scab hair is a touchy word in the natural hair community. Some believe it is just under processed hair. Some believe it is just dry hair or your natural hair texture and some believe that is doesn't even exits. Those that have experienced the phenomenon of scab hair describe it as hair that has no curl pattern and is dry, unresponsive to products and rebellious. Scab hair is thought to be caused by leftover chemicals from the relaxer that absorb into the scalp and damage the hair follicle. This in turn changes the shape of the hair follicle and the hair that comes out of it. Scab hair is treated by patience and babying the scalp until it fully heals. I myself have dealt with scab hair. Parts of my hair are coily at the root and extremely frizzy and dry at the ends. I do not attribute this to damage because I believe in healthy hair practices and do all I can to prevent damage. I have also noticed that as my hair gets longer the scab hair is less apparent. It could very well be that this is the natural texture of my hair but only time will tell. I am not waiting for my hair texture to change and am happy with and will embrace any texture that my hair is. What I do not want is for newly naturals to be disappointed in their hair texture, assume or hope that it is scab hair, and wait for it to change. Acceptance is key ladies ( and gents)  :)

So whats your opinion on scab hair? Do you believe it is real? Have you experienced it yourself? What advice do you have for naturals dealing with it?

Featured Fridays * Michelle*

1. How long have you been natural?

 1. I've only been natural for about a month now.

2. What made you decide to go natural?

 2. My hair just wasn't feeling strong enough to hold a perm anymore. So i decided to start over the NATURAL way.

3. How long did you transition and what was your routine?

3. I stopped getting perms around November. I decided to cut my hair short as a start as I let more new growth grow out, then eventually I got tired of waiting and cut it off in June.

4. How did you BC? Self BC, salon or a friend/family member?

4. A friend of my family who owns her own salon is the one I trusted to cut my hair..and boy did she waste no time!! lol.

5. How did your perception of beauty change once you went natural?

 5. I viewed beauty so much better. It felt good to just know that your beauty is natural rather worried about if water or anything else is going to ruin your hair. It's a great feeling to know that we people see me, they are looking at the natu[REAL] me!

 
 

Have you been Humbled

Going natural brings about obvious physical change but does it entail any mental change. I know how my attitude was before I went natural. I was very focused on the way I and the people I surrounded myself with appeared physically. I would not even entertain someone if I felt they were not physically up to par. I was very focused on looks yet I did not consider myself shallow.

As I got older and started college I was less shallow and more open to people that were different than me but I didn't completely change. I was still shallow in certain situations. I would still see girls and think I was better looking than them so I could treat them a certain way. I was still acting out on the mindset I had in high school though I was in college.

I took so much pride in the way I looked especially my hair. I spent hours on it every Sunday. It was a ritual to me. Not only because I cared about the way I looked but bc my value came from it. I thought as long as my hair was on point my attitude did not matter. I could be as loud, rude and ghetto as I wanted and people would overlook it bc I was a 'pretty' girl. Not to say I was those things all the time but I was those things more often than I should have been. But cutting my hair changed that.

Once I cut my hair I changed. I realized people would judge me by my appearance. I could no longer get away with things bc of my appearance bc I knew I would have my bad days. I could no longer have a stank attitude bc if I didn't look cute ( by societies standards)  and had a bad attitude no one would want to be around any of that. I became less judgemental of people. I made friends who earlier in my life I would not have talked to. I started seeing the inside of people and the inside of myself. I started to like what I saw. People told me I was nicer, more patient and more pleasant to be around. Not only did I gain a new look but I gained a new sense of self worth and a better attitude.  I was truly humbled.

Featured Fridays *India*

1. How long have you been natural?

I've Been Natural for about 1yr and 3months

2. What made you decide to go natural?

Healthier Hair and to stop the breakage from my hair


3. How long did you transition and what was your routine?


It took about a yr for my hair to be completely natural...I just stop getting perms i got my hair done every week and a trim (to cut away there perm) about ever 3 to 4 months.

4. How did you BC? Self BC, salon or a friend/family member

A Salon

5. How did your perception of beauty change once you went natural

Nope, everyone is beautiful in their own way...does not matter if u have short, long, curly, Kinky, permed hair. I did this for myself. And I Love my natural hair.

 

Henna

What would you think if I told you that there was a product that could make your hair strong, soft, shiny and long? What if I told you this same product could make your hair thick and luxurious? What if I told you your hair could be the color of your dreams without the damage.What if I told you I didn't make any of this up and you could easily get the product for very cheap? You would think I was off my rocker, which is understandable, but this product does exist. It goes by the name Henna.

I personally believe that henna is one of the most underrated natural beauty products. Whether it be the messiness of application or the lack of experience in mixing, you just don't see many people using henna. I also contribute this to the fact that many beauticians are not familiar with henna. They do not teach henna application in beauty school. They actually warn against the use of henna because of the dangers in using compound henna (which most people believe is the same henna used for hair) so they would rather stay away from henna all together. Compound henna is henna mixed with metals and salt that have an adverse reaction on hair especially if chemically treated. If you are using henna only use body art quality henna. This henna is all natural and safe. very few people are allergic to body art quality henna as it derives from a natural plant source. I get all of my henna from http://www.hennaforhair.com/ because they only sell body art quality.  http://www.hennaforhair.com/freebooks/ is also a good resource for henna information.  Also be weary of anything called black henna. This henna has been treated with a chemical called PPD which causes severe allergic reactions in most people.

Below are my henna videos
video 1- henna mixing
video 2- henna application
video 3- results after henna
each video is between 3-10 minutes
 Let me know in the comments if you like the way the videos are split up or if you prefer them to be one video