Here are some of the things I have heard that inspired me to write this post
"Some people have hair that is just too nappy to go natural"
" oh her hair must be more nappy since she is dark skin"
" I could not marry a man with nappy hair because I have good hair and don't wanna do that to my children"
Shockingly all these things were said by black people. Most were said by women especially women with natural hair.
I know if you are reading this blog you are probably as shocked as I am but its true. What I am saying to you is not made up, exaggerated or false. Now let me start by saying I am not a natural nazi. I do not think that everyone who perms their hair hates themselves or is trying to be less black. I do not think women should applaud me for wearing my hair natural or say things like "I'm proud of you", or "I couldn't do it". These things actually make me uncomfortable. I do not think I should be applauded or held on a pedestal for wearing my hair the way God made it, thats like applauding me for not wearing a mask in public because my face does not meet societies standard of beauty. In retrospect it is an insult. I try my best not to make generalizations regarding others especially when I do not really know them or their views on a topic. But part of me can't help but look at the comments above and think of them as slightly racist. They are definitely an indication of the stigmas some black people hold onto regarding natural hair texture and skin color. Why is it that ones hair even has the capacity to be "too nappy to go natural"? We are born with natural hair so in the physical world that makes no sense. How can something you are born with be too anything to be accepted, embraced or even worn out the house. Thats like saying "your eyes are too brown", so you must wear colored contacts to hide or disguise them. Or like saying "your skin is too dark", so you must avoid the sun and attempt to bleach your skin in order to be the right/acceptable/desirable color. Your hair is "too nappy" , so you must perm it so its pretty. Its so sad some think like this.
"oh her hair must be nappy because she is dark skin", is no different from the above comments and its no more correct. First of all there is no gene for race. There are genes for characteristics ( ie. eye color, skin color, hair texture, facial features), but there is no actual gene that says black or white or that blond straight hair must equal someone who is of european descent. Because there is no gene for race we cannot assume that one race comes with exclusively one set of physical traits. We cannot assume that dark skin equal nappy hair because it is not true.I had an asian friend who permed her hair in high school so that it would be straight and easier for her to style. I also have a friend who is black and her grandmother had completely straight silky black hair. No my friend is not bi racial. Her parents are from Africa and they each have coily hair. If the one race one trait theory were true then her grandmother could not possible be of african descent but we know that she is. This comment also bring about another issue. The person who made this comment is one who believes the lighter the better and that good hair is hair that is not nappy or coily but curly, soft. wavy or anything that is close to being straight and long. Because this person has so many issues with skin color they assume that any one with the dreaded dark skin must also have the unmanageable nappy hair and be less attractive as a person. And yes the person who said this was black, brown skin and has coily hair themselves. Unfortunately this shows how hatred of ourselves can project into hatred of others that remind us of ourselves.
The last comment I am going to address is" I could not marry a man with nappy hair because I have good hair and don't wanna do that to my children". What is good hair anyway?Most black people have been taught that good hair is manageable, curly but not tightly, silky, smooth, and that resembles the hair of someone who is multi or bi racial. The people believing or saying these things have been taught that they have pretty hair. They have probably been told not to perm it and that they are lucky and they have been held above those who do not meet the pretty hair standard. And I am not saying that is it wrong to have an opinion, that is not my point at all. I have my own opinion of what I find attractive. For example: I find dark skin men very attractive. I have a preference this is my right. But I do not find light skin men inferior. I would not turn down a date with a man because he is light skin and God forbid we fall in love, get married and have children that may be light skin eww... That is when it goes from preference to expectance, from opinion to hate. And I do believe that good and bad hair exist. My definition of good hair is hair that is healthy, moisturized,clean, strong, and free of breakage. Bad hair is that which is unhealthy, dry, damaged and dirty. My definitions of each have nothing to do with texture. You can have good or bad hair regardless of the pattern or shape your strands make. That should have nothing to do with quality but unfortunately some believe that is does.
I do not expect this post to change anyones mind or opinion. I just want people to be more educated about the things they say and the things they believe. I want people to examine where these thoughts and ideals truly come from. What is the root of them? And remember, it is possible to be racist without calling someone the n word. Just as it is possible to think your are elitist because of hair texture or skin color. Its your thoughts that matter. Choosing not to say anything about a topic does not make your belief less true...
